9 Classic Beards

Whisker Wars brings the bizarre world of furry faces to tv. We tapped star—and World Beard Champ—Jack Passion to judge some of history’s finest.

Billy Gibbons of ZZ Top

“Anyone with a long red beard is a man after my heart. It’s the highest-profile beard, the Everest of facial hair.”

Blackbeard

“I have to give respect to any beard, but this one is just thrashed, beat-up, and weathered, so I can’t judge it too highly.”

Abraham Lincoln

“Personal style is the apex of beard fashion, and he’s remembered as much for his beard as anything. That’s the sign of a successful beard.”

Ernest Hemingway

“This is perfect, the archetypal beard. It’s just wild enough without being unruly, and it’s very powerful and bold.”

Zach Galifianakis

“A beard like this can take you anywhere. It’s like a Range Rover: You can take it off-roading or pull up to a five-star hotel.”

Brian Wilson

“It’s a great beard, and the detail afforded by meticulously grooming it takes it up a notch.”

Osama Bin Laden

“People always say you can hide behind beards, but Osama’s didn’t hide him very well. It’s not a special beard. I give it a C.”

Moses

“It’s long, it’s full, it’s flowing, and when you see a guy come out of the mountains with a beard like this, you’ll heed his word.”